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Tuesday, 29 January 2013

This isn't normal but I would like it to be!



   Yesterday was not like today! Yesterday I spent an hour and a half just reading my bible and drinking coffee, nothing unusual about that… but I remember at one moment just enjoying myself and asking God to expand my capacity to be in his presence! I didn’t expect him to answer my prayer so quickly!
   Today when I sat down… I started the day the same way, with my coffee and my bible! I started reading at 9:30am and from there Holy Spirit just lead me into a time of worship, exalting God and singing out my desire to be in His presence.  Next thing I know… I’m weeping in the presence of God and just so overwhelmed at his goodness and love and grace towards us! Even as I write this, I can’t contain my tears at the memory of such goodness being showered down on me! Who am I that I am blessed in such a favored way? The Lord just swept me away into his presence, into the secret place where it’s just Him and I.
   In this secret place (my living room :) I had this incredible time of kneeling and prostrating myself before the throne of God. As the tears ran down my cheeks and I closed my eyes, I could see the throne of God directly in front of me. All I could do was be on my knees, hunched over with my hands lifted high to him. I was worshiping the King of Glory and being wrapped and surrounded in His Presence, His Love, and His Glory. It was too beautiful to explain – experiencing such a gentle love and grace that makes you want to adore Him and continue worshiping Him in humility. There was the absence of worthlessness even though I was in the presence of the most majestic King alive! I am in no way comparable to my Lord but I didn’t feel like a servant who is ‘less than’ and under the rule of his master. I was His child. I was coming to my Father out of joy, love,  and the anticipation of the words He wants to share with me! We had an unexplainable bond. I was able to recognize that it was out of His overwhelming love for me that I was able to love him in return and have this confidence in His presence to ask for whatever my heart desired! 
   Once I had a chance to reflect on what happened, I asked the Lord… Why me? Why did you have me experience something so unexplainably Majestic. His response to this question was, “You were available.” “You were available to spend time with me. You wanted to be in my presence and asked for it! It is my delight to have my child walk with me and understand my ways and I will gladly show them to those who ask for it! My desire is for you and to be in constant relationship with you. I search high and low for those who are hungry for my truth and for my words and who desire the same things I desire! I reward the patient, the hungry and the trustworthy who are working for my kingdom and my cause. They will be the ones to experience my presence and know me.”
   Now the time happens to be 1:49pm  and I can barely type this cause I feel myself being sucked back into the heart of worship! The day has been wasted in his presence and there’s no other way I would’ve spent it! Continue to worship the Lord as you go about your day! Be Blessed, Shelly



3 comments:

  1. Dear, dear Shelly,
    Thank you so much for writing this. It's so very beautiful & I just weep as I type this note to you.
    You see, I awoke in the middle of the night with such a heaviness on my heart & could not fall back to sleep for almost 4 hours...many tears & prayers. Though I eventually was able to catch a bit of sleep, with the morning came that same painful heaviness. I spent my coffee time with my Bible & prayer, & I believe the Lord began to reveal some areas of my heart that needed "scrubbing" (my way of describing when unknowingly, I have let some resentment or unforgiveness in). I put it on my mental "to do list" to get together soon with my dear friend & prayer counselor to pray though some things. Later during my coffee & prayer time with hubby, Paul, I described to him how I felt lastnight & today, I told him, "it's like somebody came in the middle of the night, kicked in my door & stole every bit of my joy". Such a horrible feeling...one that I still haven't quite shaken. I know the truth though, that this feeling is a lie, that it's a temporary thing (a mixture of my stuff that was revealed, some normal waves of grief after losing our grandbaby, & some Minnesota winter blues) & there is a way out...that Jesus will hold me & carry me through it. I also know the steps I need to take to get unstuck. As I read your blog...you showed me what the other side of this feels like, that I long for so much. To feel God's presence again completely & fully, to be swept up & lost in Him. Such a beautiful vision, such a wonderful feeling. Exactly what I need today. I am so very happy for you & your experience, & not a bit jealous...just so grateful for this beautiful reminder. He does adore us, He does hear us, He does meet us where we are, & wants nothing more than to have our time & our complete attention. You gave me a taste of what is there for me, you reminded me of the type of refreshment that can only come from Jesus...& how much I want that right now! So, thank you Shelly. I'm motivated now to surrender to that "heart scrubbing" I know that I need, to be cleansed & refreshed, to seek Him fully, to be present & intentional about connecting with Him today.
    Thank you so much for this & may you be blessed.
    Much, much love to you,
    Kammi

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    1. Kammi!
      I was so blessed with your note. It really took a lot for me to start a blog, to make myself vulnerable through writing to so many people but after hearing your response --- it was totally worth it! To know that Jesus was able to touch one heart through what I wrote makes me more daring to keep writing about what He's showing me! I find it so funny that the 'heart scrubbing' you wrote about was the exact same process that the Lord took me thru today! Altho I don't elaborate about it much in my post, the most intimate time we had was when I laid bare my soul before him and let him 'search and know my heart' and find any wicked way in me so that I would come to repentance and not allow anything to stand in the way of our relationship! Your honesty is an inspiration to me! I'll be praying for you and your family tonight. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandbaby. The Lord knows how a mother & grandmother's heart grieves the loss of someone so precious. Many Blessings, ~Shelly

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  2. Shelly I really enjoyed this post!
    Reading this makes me realize how many barriers I have created between God and me. I have known they were there, but I haven't thought that much about asking him to remove them. After seeing your experience with God it makes me realize how my priorities gets mixed up with wrong motives because I am unwilling to let some things go that God may want me to give to Him and trust Him to fulfill. Thanks for this perspective!

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